A goat, 2 estate agents and a silly woman!!!

Alby Newbian Goat

Once upon a time I acquired 2 goats, a white Toggenburg called Daisy and an Alby Newbian whose name was Biggles. I had not given enough thought to goat keeping and it was not long before they produced 2 kids, things then got very complicated , they could be very entertaining and very naughty, and we seemed to spend much of our time searching for runaway goats. Eventually they became such a handful I had to get rid of Daisy and her babies, but that's another story!       

Toggenburg goat

Biggles continued to live with us for many  more colourful, and being a billy goat, very smelly years.

We live in an old farmhouse that has needed lots of renovation, which is not easy when you have 3 children, 8 cats, 2 dogs, chickens, ducks, geese, an assortment of small furry creatures  and of course goats! I would get fed up with the slow progression of building work and quite often would want to sell up. So off to the estate agents I went, and made appointments with 2 companies to come and value our property. Needless to say nobody dare make a mess or move anything , and kept out of my way over the weekend, as I cleaned, hoovered, dusted and shoved things in cupboards so the house looked suitably tidy for the first estate agent to drop by on the Monday morning.


Monday arrived and a lovely man in a suit arrived, defiantly the wrong attire for an old farmhouse which was surrounded by animals,a  building site and lots of mud! Anyway I made the chap a nice cup of tea gave him a slice of cake, made small talk for a bit, then he went of to nosey around and measure up, all the while making suitable ohhhh  arrrrr sounds. I was not sure if they were complimentary ohhh arrrrrr sounds as he looked round our home, or coming into a little farmyard he took on the persona of a farmer. 


After collecting all the details he went into the gardens to measure and admire....his shoes were now very muddy as I met him outside our barns, and there was worse to come. Entering the barns and looking around he then wanted to know what was through a door at the back. 'well' I said 'that takes us into my goats living quarters, and you have seen them from the outside when you measured the paddock'. But he was adamant he wanted to go in!


'Ok, but he is a billy goat, and smells bad, hopefully he wont come rushing up to you and make you smell just like he does'. So I fetched a bucket, filled it with food , hoping when I opened the door, Biggles would be more interested in another unexpected breakfast, rather than the said agent.


I unlocked and pushed he door open slowly....so unusual no rush of goat. Stepping inside I looked around then saw Biggles laying on his back amongst the hay! 


'Oh.....I think Biggles is asleep' I said, panicking a little as he looked a little unwell!
'My dear, I think your goat is dead' the estate agent relied
'Well he was Ok this morning when I gave him his breakfast' 
The friendly estate agent went on his merry way.....


I had intended to cover Biggles over with hay, as we could not dispose of his body immediatly. The following  morning another chap came over to value our house...guess what? I forgotten to put the hay over the goat.


Well here comes the silly woman part...the estate agent had a cuppa, a piece of cake, went round my house measuring up and making ohhhhh arrrrrr sounds, measured and admired the gardens, then stood outside my barns with muddy shoes..... realisation dawned on me....Instead of telling him to look out and not tread on my dead goat, I told him Biggles was very smelly, would rush towards him, and I had to get a bucket of food....I opened the door looked around...and exclaimed 'My goat is asleep'.....he replied 'I think your goats dead'.awwwwwwwww how silly I felt. As you can imagine I did not hear from either agent for a while. Their premises were next door to each other, so no doubt they compare details the they can come up  with similar valuations....Imagine their conversation....'Oh when I visited Hillcote Farm the lady there had a goat in her barn  that had died that morning'....'Funny enough when I went the next day she had another goat that had died that morning too'


To top the lot, my father in law would drop by most days, visit Biggles and give him some scraps. He came indoors for his daily cuppa and said 'I don't think Biggles is very well today, as he is not interested in the food I have brought him'. Laughing I then told him he had been trying to feed a dead goat!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Happy Tuesday to you all...x