Peanut Butter and a Full Moon

Love and happiness remind me of sticky peanut butter. When you spread them around, you can't help but end up getting some on yourself!— Marcia Jordan, Hugs & Hope Club

Hello Everyone :) Apologies for not dropping by recently :(  life lately has been full of this and that, ups and downs and sticky moments! But like the quote above, friends will always stick by he he. So another Christmas done and dusted and another New Year to greet. I have a feeling deep down that this just may be the year that I finally sort myself out. So many friends have been supportive over 2011 and have encouraged me to step out of  of my comfort zone....you know who you are and for that I say a big THANK YOU :) One very special friend has been quietly in the background giving me the strength to believe in myself and take those steps forward....thanks from across the miles x 

Those of you who know me well are aware that I have an infinity with the moon! Especially when the full shiny moon sits in the clear sky at night watching over us....it never ceases to make me smile :) No as yet I do not go hairy and grow fangs....Mind you I was born on the 3rd of the 3rd at 3am, maybe that has something to do with it? Also both me and my eldest son were born during a full moon!!! lol

This picture was taken in my garden on the 10th December...so another reach for dreams and a wish...The next one is on January 9th so remember to take a peep, smile and reach for your dreams too.

The best Full moon was one I shared with a friend in September ....One that we observed and made wishes together,the most lovely bright silvery one that sat on the edge of the sea, one I believe will always be remembered....also another opportunity to sail a paper boat and smile.
This is short and sweet today....but heartfelt and sent to all my friends....I could not ask for a better circle of sticky peanut butter pals....lets all stick together in 2012 and reach our goals and dreams together.......A very Happy New Year to each of you ....Hugs 4 smiles M xx

Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.— Edmond & Jules deGoncourt

An encounter with an Angel :)

                                  "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for by so doing

some have unwittingly entertained angels."~ Hebrews 13:2 ~

We dropped out youngest son off at uni 3 weeks ago, and although all we ever wanted was for our children to be healthy, happy and reach for their dreams, always knowing that one day they would step out into the big wide world and follow their own path and journey through life. I always knew that you only borrow your children, but it did not stop me feeling like I had both my arms removed. Suddenly tearful and feeling redundant I shed a few tears

knowing that its my time now to rediscover me, and also like the gang carve out a new path just as they are. I am lucky as many people do not have the opportunity to have the creativity I experience, which overflows into so many aspects of my life. I have always worked in the world of art and I know I am very charmed to be able to do so.

The Sunday after my son went to uni I went off to North Norfolk once again. A great leveller for me and the big skies free my mind. I also sail my paper boats here. I had 2 to sail this day, and when I had found a suitable spot I sent them onto the gentle waves carrying their special messages across the ocean. I watched them until they were no longer in sight.

The sky had started to turn and promised a lovely sunset. I walked back along the beach and back onto the edge of the prom. I turned back to admire the sky  when I heard someone say "Are you here for the sunset?" I turned to see an elderly lady in a motorised wheelchair, she was beautifully dressed and made up and had the most amazing smile. She reached her hand out and touched my arm and said "You only have your children in trust you know?" A tear appeared in the corner of my eye and words became stuck in the back of my throat. I nodded in agreement and went on to tell her that the last had flown the nest....how did she know I wondered?

She then briefly told me her story, how her bones were crumbling and she was on morphine, but still took all life had to offer. She involved herself in many projects and also travelled extensively, along with being as creative as she could, her hands did not now let her do her beloved wood turning, she found other ways to keep herself busy and active. She had just come back from Australia, her and her husband (who by now was chatting to mine) still drove, took days out, loved going for romantic meals and also sold all she made at farmers and craft markets, and that was the tip of the iceberg!

As the sky turned a deep red and orange she said it was my turn now to take life and embrace it....or I could just sit around do nothing and wait for God... you know her words totally struck home. I could sit in my now empty silent house dwelling on the past of ghosts of children laughing, playing and following me around like puppies, but those days will never happen again. So I owe her as well as myself some....well lots of me time, to be active, get my mojo back and rediscover who I am. I have had a few years now of hiding away, not ever knowing whether I will find light at the end of the tunnel......She then smiled at me and said they had better be on their way as her husband was not so good at standing for long periods of time now days....after all she finished up with.....he is now 92 and I am 91!!!!! you know as she and her hubby went on their merry way and vanished into the distance I was left behind with a sense of well being....I did wonder if she was an angel that had returned to earth to show me the new path  I should now tread.

Three weeks later and her face stays with me as do her words, already opportunities are coming my way and I am looking forward to another new creative journey....I wonder who she is helping now with her inspiring words of wisdom?

 If you seek an angel with an open heart, you shall always find one.

So a little melancholy tonight but sending with hugs 4 smiles to you all M xx

"Don't cry because it 's over....Smile because it happened"

Dr Seuss

Thats all I have to say today

Hugs 4 smiles M x

Doris, Jack and a new found confidence :)

 A few days have passed since I returned home from my trip to North Norfolk and although I am a little melancholy this afternoon, its for the right reasons. My mind keeps trailing back and reliving the 5 days I spent in my most favourite place. Norfolk is a leveller for me, but this time I went in search of confidence, and I have certainly found a small spark.
Lots of walking, meditation, thinking and having a special friend to ponder life with, has helped me regain a positive attitude.

This little river set in splendid surroundings helps power an old restored watermill, I found it by chance, the journey stopped abruptly as there was a ford across the road warning cars not to go across. So I parked up and took in natures wonderful beauty. Alongside the river a bench, the dedication was for Doris 1001 and Jack 89 who had loved the area and each other for many years. I sat for some time watching and pondering, in my head I made up little stories about the couple....did Doris feel the same way I do right now,  after her family grew up, did she regain a new confidence? I think maybe she did, she embraced life and all it had to offer, that's her secret for a long happy life  I think :)
So perhaps I will be a Doris and reach for my dreams. Jack well he is in my heart and always will be,   Jack was her forever love... 
A little bridge crossed the river and I could not resist playing Phoo Sticks....yep a middle aged woman reliving her childhood dropping sticks into the water, watching them race under the bridge and then cheering the winner. I was alone...I hope:)

A trip along the coast took me to a place called Eccles....the beach was almost deserted and I enjoyed hunting out witch stones, for any of you that don't know a what a witch stone is, its one that has a hole all the way through. I then sat for a while and took in the atmosphere. Couples arm in arm , children content in the autumn sunshine to paddle and build sandcastles, excited dogs running in and out of the surf enjoying their freedom.

I spotted this man who seemed to be pondering the meaning of life, I captured the moment as he seemed to be doing the same as me, re-evaluating and at a crossroads in life. I wonder has he got a Doris in his life?? 
So home now and have re-discovered my Mojo....Drop the negative thoughts that keep me in my cage...I can see the colours a little more clearly now and I plan to do mostly positive things. Today well its the start of a new journey of discovery, baby steps to start with and not trying too much at once. I  have a list of life and heave already ticked off 2 items. 
People without Mojo see lemons as lemons. People who have Mojo take lemons and make lemonade...I know who I would rather be :)


So as the sun set on the last day of my trip it was time to say goodbye....time for new beginnings................ 

'What it is....is what it is'

Hugs for lots of new smiles M xx

Cloud Cuckoo Land, courage and moving on!

Cloud Cuckoo Cottage is set in a pretty row of terraces in Cromer, North Norfolk. The name is very apt for me as after 3 years of living in cloud cuckoo land inside my head, it seems I am taking a few steps forward. Its not easy by any means...like the Lion in The Wizard of Oz  I seem to of lost my courage somewhere along the way like he did. Some days just getting to the local supermarket becomes an ordeal, which is very frustrating as it was not so long ago I would reach for the moon and follow dreams. I feel like a little bird in a cage....but I know I have the wings to fly and make changes.

So I am at the crossroads right now, I can either stay the way I am....or embrace the future, and live my life. My Aunt threw those words at me over the weekend, and yes she is right, I can either sit around waiting for God, of go for it and embrace life as I did a few years ago. Of course there are many changes, children are adults now, and no longer need my full attention, The house still feels so unfamiliar after the restoration...if you don't know we had a major house fire 3 years ago, and I find myself almost guarding my nest in case it happens all over again. I no longer have my dogs to walk each day and so much of my creativity has vanished. But I am sure it will all come back and hit me on the head. he he

When I listened to My Aunt I suddenly took on old age as something to look forward to...she is active in the community, learned to drive at 61, loves to dress up and indeed she is very trendy.. She has enrolled to take a computer course, which will open a whole new world for her as she knows nothing about this technology....rock on girl you will soon be blogging and setting up on Facebook! Oh and at 76 she is off to have her first Tattoo this week!!

Last week I has a 2 day adventure of my own, a trip away was just what i needed to boost my self esteem. Facing my fears was not easy but the feeling afterwards was euphoric. No monsters those 2 days He he x
So onward and upward one day at a time. I have booked a short break to my favourite part of the world....yep you have guessed Norfolk. i will be taking part in a yoga and meditation workshop and after I am chilled and calm spend the next couple of days revisiting favourite familiar places and catching up with a very special friend.Maybe we will get to sail paper boats, throw found driftwood back into the sea on a new journey, and of course sip tea and eat cake in a steamy tea shop :)
Hopefully standing on my own 2 feet for a few days will be the foundations for a new confident journey ahead, and I will dance down that yellow brick road just like the lion with his friends. You never know I might even join my aunt and get a tattoo!!!! lol 

The next full moon is on the 12th September which will be the start of my trip....and I will be looking at that moon and making a wish and reaching up for new hopes and dreams.Watch this space :) Hugs 4 smiles M x

Butterflies, fairies and lollipops :)

Auntie Margaret and me!

Meeting up with one of my aunts this weekend was therapy indeed. My family is one divided and I had not seen Margaret for a very long time, over 25 years, and until now I have seen few of my extended family, my parents died a fair while ago, so this was a chance to discover a little bit about me and my roots.
I have a few childhood memories of Margaret, my uncle and my 2 cousins, and the same goes for many other aunts cousins and extended family. 
Margeret was so very welcoming and we had a lovely weekend catching up with chit chat.Old albums were brought out to ponder over while we sipped tea and munched on lovely light Welsh cakes, she lives in Wales and is very proud to do so. We also got to learn a few Welsh sayings and discovered lots of Welsh culture.

My great Grandmother

My Great Great Grandmother

Over the past few years I have spent time tracing the Wall family tree, and have researched back to 1700 and discovered where and when these people lived but until now many have remained faceless.Margaret enlightened us with happy and sad stories of days gone by and helped fill in some of the gaps. Many of my ancestors came from Shropshire and worked on the land and judging by their photos life was quite tough.
As we turned the pages I could find few facial similarities between myself and the eyes looking back at me, I suppose I have taken my Mothers Jewish looks on instead! But some of the stories my aunt shared made me realise some of these people had left their footprint on my funny little ways. I discovered my Gran loved fairies and always decorated a small tree at Christmas with lollipops for the children who dropped by. If you have read any of my other posts you will know my fascination with fairies, perhaps it is due to her that I break the shell of a boiled egg on finishing it, to let the fairy out. And up until a few years ago I always decorated a branch sprayed with gold and silver paint with colourful lollipops for anyone who dropped by over the festive season. I seem to of stopped doing this now my gang have grown up, but maybe its time to return to the tradition!
I am the worlds worst fidget and rarely keep still....oh and talk to myself....light candles each day and it appears my aunt is the same. I worry sometimes about old age too, but Margaret is 76, wears really trendy clothes, loves life, and buzzes around like someone much younger.....oh and she is also having a tattoo done next week of 2 butterflies....I am a fan of butterflies too. 'When I am old I will will wear purple' springs to mind, but in this case its 'when I am old I will have a tattoo'....he he 

My Grandmother and Grandfather on a day out

                                       

A young grandfather

Granny as a girl

It was fantastic to gather up the stories of her childhood with her brothers and sisters, and all the extended family, the album really came to life.And I feel I have discovered a little bit about me!

My Gran, Margaret on right, Peg (Primrose left) Clive (my Father) in front

So if you have an elderly relative, drop by and get them to chat about the 'good old days' you will be surprised at the little snippets of information that they give you about family....and Oh boy do we have lots of skeletons in the cupboard!!! But that's another story.
Hugs for now M xx

Dreams and Driftwood

Aberdeen 

I seem to of been in hibernation for a bit, creativity has eluded me these past few weeks, but once again I have bounced back for a while anyway!! The picture of distant boats on the sea at Aberdeen reminded me of my Paper Boats, setting them to sail and hoping they reach their destination.Words written oh so carefully on  paper, of secrets hopes and dreams, then carefully folding the paper into a little boat, and letting it free on the waves, along with its spell, watching it drift away on its own, finding its path and enjoying the adventure, a bit like me really, seeking out a new journey, new dreams to reach for. 

I know I am not the only person who sends dreams across the ocean....I have a friend who on finding driftwood, sends it back on its journey after whispering a few quiet words. I wonder if their hopes and dreams are similar to mine.. maybe.. I shall never know. But its a bit like a child crossing their fingers for luck....you never know what may come back :)

 I picked up some driftwood on the beach in Aberdeen and unlike my friend I brought them home to capture their colours and textures in pencil. I wonder what stories these sea washed branches can tell? Adventures from all over, stopping here and there for a moment... or longer, someone walking on by and throwing them back, or a dog picking them up taking them to their owner for a game of fetch. Children decorating sandcastles, or playing games of dragons and knights in armour, with the branches becoming swords, or people like me stopping to admire their rugged beauty and wonder......making up fanciful stories....

You know I do believe paper boats come home, and driftwood keeps its words of dreams inside resting one day on the beach....and like the boats when they are discovered by the right recipient the words are shared..... Who knows...Dreams can come true....
Well hugs 4 smiles, and I hope your dreams come true as well xxx